Hi Reader. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you "won" an argument but didn't feel like you'd made any progress?

This is the difference between persuading and convincing.

Convincing Someone

When you try to convince someone of something it's like going to battle! You have prepared all of your ammunition to overcome objections.

• Overwhleming them with evidence
• Using debate tactics
• Focusing on being "right"

The result is that even if you've "won" the debate, you've created a win/lose dynamic. Even if they verbally agreed, you don't have alignment.

Persuasion Path

The intent of persuasion is to bring the person onside with your position. Instead of uncommited surrender, you win an ally.

So what does persuasion look like if not beating them down with facts and tactics?

• Understanding the other person's values and priorities
• Finding common ground before addressing differences
• Story telling to engage emotionally
• Inviting rather than pushing

Why does this matter?

This isn't just about semantics. Your approach has real impact.

• Relationship Impact: Convincing often damages trust. Persuasion builds it.
• Lasting Impact: Someone who only verbally agrees will likely revert back to their position once the social pressure changes.
• Energy Contribution: A convinced team will give you basic effort. A persuaded team will contribute enthusiastically.

How?

So how can you work to persuade instead of convince?

• Be curious: Ask more questions. Understand the other persons fears and interests
• Scaffolding: Build your position on top of theirs. Find common ground and move from there.
• Pre-wire: Plant seeds about your idea in passing, and don't ask for anything.
• Use stories: Humans are hardwired to care about stories. Build the narrative or share a real example of the impact.

Irony

Am I trying to convince you that persuasion is more powerful? 😄

Experiment for yourself. If nothing else, you will feel more peace in your efforts. Ramping up and trying to convince someone of something is exhausting. Calmly telling them a story and inviting them to participate produces great vibes!

Todd @ Evolved

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